Hi,
My name is Simba J Plops, and after recently discovering that the Internet can be used for much more than just LOLcats, I have decided to put my paws to the keyboard and bore you all with my opinions.
Firstly I shall give you all a basic insight to who I am. This is me in my Ferrari!
My name is Simba and I was born in January 2010. I was separated from my mother at a very early age (sad I know) and have since had to find a new home. I decided to adopt a family of humans, who are reasonably well behaved.
The first of my human pets is an adult male who for privacy reasons I shall refer to as "Mr C". He does have a tendency to occasionally misbehave and I have sometimes found him with his head in the toilet, but this can be looked past as he is the only of my pets who is earning any money, which is of course an essential asset in a human pet!
The second is an adult female who we shall call "Mrs L". She is a very lovable creature, and does have an annoying tendency to speak to me in a very strange and high pitched manner. This can be brushed aside though as she does like to give lots of cuddles, and does make most of my dinners.
The third is a small child whom we shall call "Little A". Little A has finally grown out of pulling my fur out which is good because he was about 3 more plucks away from a claw sandwich! Adorable little creature which will hopefully take after its mother!
So as the feline in charge I have completely free reign of the house (apart from upstairs and the cupboards) and am even allowed to be locked outside all night! They know I am hardcore enough to deal with any trouble that comes my way! I get my food imported straight from Germany and "Mrs L" has to go to a specialized German retailer called Lidl to get it. I have had a look there at night on one of my expeditions and the shelves are stacked with quality German foods! Only the best for me!
It is with deep regret that I also must mention that I have been subjected to the most d emasculating experience ever, having my balls removed. This was done at an early age when I was not old enough to put up any form of fight. It was even tricked upon me, as I only went in to have my identichip installed! Never trust a vet, as don't forget they are probably only some other cats pet human, nothing more!
I must say however this has not made any difference with the lady cats.. They still love to hear me roar!
Last thing for this introduction is that my pet human Mrs L is expecting a new baby in May. I think it may be time to return the favor and neuter Mr C!
Until the next time
...Meaooww..
